In My Stomach: Part III

Previously on “In My Stomach”…

“I’ve got myself an idea that could rid us all of that crummy town and that stupid sheriff,” Poe said as he chuckled.

“What’s so funny?” asked Rotten Car.

“Oh, I was just thinking how funny it is that parents think we vegetables are healthy for their kids. If only they knew just how much damage…” he said as he cocked his gun, “…we can do.”

And now the exciting conclusion of “In My Stomach”.

Burrito was still sitting in the saloon pondering what Noodle had just told him. He looked up to see Steak cleaning another glass.

“So is this Gum guy like a preacher or something?” Burrito asked.

“Something like that I guess, mate,” Steak said as he put the glass under the bar. “He’s the one who tells us who will go and who will stay.”

“Huh,” Burrito said as he pondered it. “That sounds familiar. Where could I find him?”

“He usually hangs around the area near the Oyster’s Mercantile and the schoolhouse.” A rumble was heard as Steak finished.

“What’s that?” asked Burrito fearing that Poe’s gang was coming back.

“Someone else is here, mate,” he said as he rushed to see who it was outside. Burrito followed and they watched the Esophagus. The Esophagus kept rumbling louder and louder, and then it stopped as 12 Skittles entered. “Oh, it’s the Skittle family, mate. They’re real nice people. He must be having a snack right now.”

“Who?” Burrito asked.

“The Skittles, mate. They’re kind of like M&M’s but a little more-uh,” he suddenly went pale. Then he whispered, “Fruitier.”

“Not them. Who is having a snack?” Burrito asked.

“Oh, the Skittles are coming this way, mate. I’d better get to work inside.” Then he dashed inside. “Bye, mate.” Burrito stood there confused. What was going on here? Maybe the Gum guy would tell him. Burrito walked away from the Saloon and walked around the town to find either the mercantile or the schoolhouse.

At the Sheriff’s office…

Sheriff Pizza sat at his desk while Deputy Noodle stood with one foot on the chair.

“Sheriff, you know Ellie won’t be coming back,” said Deputy Noodle. “She’s gone, and you can’t bring her back.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re a happily married man. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t be angry at myself,” Sheriff Pizza said.

“Angry at yourself? What are you talking about?”

“If I had asked her to marry me before that stupid gum had sent her off, I’d be with her right now.”

“Mr. Gum said it was her time,” Noodle said as Pizza got up. “And besides, you’ll be with her again.” The sheriff put his gun belt on. “And where would this town be without you?”

“Then why isn’t it my time yet? And how do I know that she hasn’t already married someone else now?”

“Because of this,” Deputy Noodle held out a piece of paper toward the sheriff.

“What is it?”

“She gave it to me before she left,” Noodle said. “She didn’t give it to you because she didn’t think you would handle it right. She told me to read it and find the right time to give it to you, and I think now is probably a good time.” Sheriff Pizza grabbed the note slowly and rushed out the door reading the note.

He stepped off of the front porch and read the note:

Dear Pizza,

I am about to leave for porcelain country, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to say goodbye to you in person so I wrote you this letter. You see, I’ve grown very fond of you. Well, actually to tell you the truth, I love you. And the whole time I was in town and you were walking by, I wanted to tell you how much I love you. I especially love the way you help people in the town. You love everyone in town. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone who is so passionate of protecting a whole town as I have seen you.

With that said, I hope that you will continue to do your job, and I hope that one day when we see each other again, we’ll never part. I keep hoping for that day.

There’s more I could say, but I’m saving that for the day when we will see each other again.

Love,

Ellie

Sheriff Pizza looked up from the note. She loves me, he thought. He stood there as if he was stunned. He put the note in the vest pocket over his heart.

Meanwhile at Oyster’s Mercantile…

Burrito looked around the street and saw a big, wrinkled, pink ball walking slowly on the sidewalk. Burrito guessed it was Mr. Gum.

“Mr. Gum!” called Burrito as he rushed over to Mr. Gum. Mr. Gum turned around and saw Burrito staring down at him.

“Ah,” Mr. Gum started in a bit of a raspy voice. “You’re the new guy. Burrito, Right?” Burrito nodded. “Well it was nice meeting you.” Then he turned around and kept walking.

“Wait, Mr. Gum.” Burrito walked up to Mr. Gum’s side. “I didn’t come to meet you. I came to ask you some questions.”

“Everyone wants to ask me questions, especially the new ones. What are your questions?” Mr. Gum sounded skeptical.

“Well, first of all, I’m not sure I know where I am.” Mr. Gum turned to look at him.

“You’re in a western town in Justin’s stomach.”

“Who’s Justin?” Burrito asked.

“He ate you. He ate everyone in this town.”

“What’s a stomach?”

“A stomach is what holds the food, before we get digested.”

“What does digested mean?” Burrito was confused.

“Everyone calls it the Oregon Trail. I honestly don’t know who started calling it that. It should be pronounced Organ Trail,” he said as he kept on walking.

“What’s Porcelain country?”

“Doesn’t anyone tell you anything? It’s a fancy word for the sewers. It’s a place that we go to when we either die or when I am told that it’s their time.”

“Who tells you?”

“The body tells me.” They were both silent for a moment as they kept on walking.

“How do you know all this?” Burrito asked

“When Justin was a young child, he had me in his mouth as he and his parents had a conversation about where food goes.”

“Are you the only one who gets told by the body who will go and who will stay?”

“Hey that sounds familiar,” Mr. Gum said. “Yes I am. For years I was stuck to the walls of this stomach. I heard whatever it said. And it thinks I’m still stuck on it.”

“How come you don’t go on the Organ Trail?”

“I’m too old to move around. I couldn’t go down the Organ Trail if my life was on the line. I just can’t travel that far. Are there any more questions you have?”

“Why is Poe’s gang so mean? Is there some kind of sad, tragic backstory to their lives?”

“Actually, yes there is.” Mr. Gum sat down on a nearby bench. “Sit,” he told Burrito. “All of Poe’s life, he had an aspiration to be a french fry. But there were some problems with that. For one, he wasn’t French. And second, his family wasn’t the fry kind. All his life, he grew seething with jealousy. He vowed to get revenge on the people that grew him. Justin’s grandparents grew a small potato crop and gave a bag of potatoes to Justin’s family. Poe was inside the bag. Justin ate them and when Poe got here, he became the sinister villain of this town.

“Then Brocc got here and complained that Justin was forced to eat him. Brocc was the first member of Poe’s gang. They were put in jail a few times for murder. Then the Rotten Car came with the same problem as Brocc, then the Pod Brothers and Corny and Cob. They all formed a gang and are now wanted for murder all around the body except for here.”

“Why not here?” Burrito asked.

“Their wanted posters haven’t arrived yet. The law is that they can’t be arrested without a wanted poster.”

“Where is it coming from?”

“The Brain. That’s where all the political stuff happens too. But that is indeed another story for another time. But the thing you need to do, now that you know all you need to know,” Mr. Gum stared deep into Burrito’s eyes, “is to mind your own business.”

And with that, Mr. Gum got up and walked slowly away.

Then something strange happened. Everyone was running all over the place. Not in play, but in fear.

At Main Street…

“Sheriff!” Poe called out from the middle of the street. “Sheriff! Come out here and fight like food!” Poe looked up at all the rooftops to see if his men were in place. They were all ready.

“I told you to stay out, Poe!” called Sheriff Pizza from the other side of the street.

“We had a little bit of business to finish,” said Poe as he slowly walked toward the sheriff. But Sheriff Pizza just stood still.

“I don’t have any business with you,” argued the sheriff.

“Now that’s where I would disagree. We have business to finish, and all because of that silly badge you wear. You think you’re the king of the town. Well, you’re not.”

“I may not be the king, but I did swear an oath to protect this town and this body. And that’s exactly what I intend to do.”

“How? You can’t arrest me. You don’t have any wanted posters of me.”

“Then what’s this?” Sheriff Pizza pulled out a poster with Poe’s face on it. Poe just froze where he was. “They just came in two minutes ago.” Poe examined it from where he was then started running backwards.

“Now, men!” Then Brocc and Rotten Car jumped out of their hiding spots and started shooting at Pizza. Pizza ducked behind a wagon that was sitting in front of the barber shop. Poe jumped into an alleyway next to the hotel on the other side of the street. The guns were sounding for a while when all of a sudden, Corny and The Pod Brothers fell from the buildings dead. Sheriff Pizza looked up to see Deputy Noodle standing in the window of the barber shop. Pizza gave Noodle a thumbs up. Then they returned to shooting. Cob hid in a window of the hotel almost straight from where Pizza was, Brocc was shooting from the blacksmith shop to Pizza’s right, Rotten Car was shooting from the saloon to the left of the hotel, and Poe was still shooting from his hiding spot.

Bullets came from every direction, and all around Sheriff Pizza and the Barber shop. Noodle looked up and he saw something going on in the window of the hotel where Cob was shooting. Cob was hit by a bullet from behind. Then he fell from the window to reveal who shot him: Burrito. Burrito gave a tip of the hat to Sheriff Pizza. And the sheriff gave him a tip back. Poe saw Cob fall and he grew even angrier. He tried even harder to hit the sheriff.

Burrito saw Brocc dash for the stairs on the outside of the blacksmith shop. He aimed and shot Brocc in the back. Brocc went down permanently. Burrito rushed out of the hotel room and down to the front window. He smashed the glass and looked around for where Rotten Car and Poe were.

Sheriff Pizza saw Rotten Car run for the alleyway on the other side of the hotel from where Poe was. Pizza and Noodle tried to hit him on the way but he was too fast. The sheriff also noticed that Burrito was not in the hotel room window, but in the bottom floor window and was ready to walk out the door. Was he planning to hide in one of the two alley ways? He must not know that Car and Poe are on both sides.

Burrito got ready to jump out and run right. He put his hand on the knob, grasped the gun in his right hand, remembering full well that one wrong move might be his last. And then, he opened the door.

Sheriff Pizza saw Burrito run out the door and toward the alley where Car was. The sheriff jumped from his spot and got a better angle at Car and shot Car in the heart.

Deputy Noodle watched the sheriff save Burrito’s life, but he also saw that Pizza was in good range from where Poe was. After Poe pulled the trigger, Sheriff Pizza went down.

Thanks to Burrito’s new spot, he saw Poe protrude from the alley and shot at Poe, and Poe was hit and fell down. Burrito didn’t know that the sheriff was shot so he checked Poe to see if he had died. And he did. Then he saw the crowd that had gathered around Sheriff Pizza’s body.

“He’s dead, mate,” said Steak as he felt for a pulse. “He’s dead.”

One hour later…

“He will not be the same when he goes down the Organ Trail,” Mr. Gum started. “The trip will cause the sheriff to be unbearable to look at. But that will probably not matter much to Ellie. They will be with each other forever. He may be dead here, but there, he will be alive.” Then they loaded Sheriff Pizza into a wagon and he was headed on the Organ Trail.

“Mr. Gum,” said the new Deputy Sheriff Burrito. “What will they do with Poe and his gang’s bodies?”

“They will be thrown back up from where they came,” Mr. Gum replied.

Burrito could hardly believe that he was alive and Pizza was not. Pizza gave his life, to keep Burrito from losing his.

And that is probably why I’m feeling really sick right now.

The End